MBI: Married but Interesting

At the place where i work now, i share my office with a young girl. We bond quite well after 2 weeks being colleagues and we started to open up - of course i open up more than her, she's a bit secretive. Anyway, i got to know the guy she's seeing now is MARRIED. Yeah, u might say, " so what? that's totally common nowadays". VERY TRUE.

I found out that the world is full of married men when i entered the dating circle in my 30's after the end of my 1st marriage. God! as the malay saying goes (or rather i made it up) "kat Malaya ni, kena kuak laki orang dulu baru nampak jalan!" which translated to: there are so many married men on the streets in Malaysia that u need to shove them aside to see where you are going. Get my point?

A roomie in uni once came back from a date with her MBI bf looking miserable. She told me that the wife found out and keep texting / calling her and trash her. I could just tell her, "dump him and find someone single!" then i may proceed by giving 288 reasons why she should not date a married man, but I didn't because when a woman is in love, she just won't listen.

It was alot easier avoiding married men when I was younger (well, not to say that i m no longer young!) coz at 19, the stupidest thing a cute (single) guy could possibly utter, will keep me amuse throughout the night; unfortunately, it doesn't happen that way anymore now. Most single guys (who are much younger than i m) i dated the 2nd time around were far from entertaining!

Let's do some comparative study: a single guy with a good career (read: executive level & above) will call u once a day - that, if u r lucky. On average, only once a week, well, coz they are very committed to their career. A successful married (bussiness) man with hundreds of contract running and projects in progress can call u 5 times a day - the least!

When u tell your single bf that yo mobile is faulty, he'll reply; "it's ok honey, i'll call u at the office", but an MBI bf will say "i'll bring a new samsung mobile at dinner tonight". When u whine about the faulty washer at home, the sweetest single bf will offer himself to fix the machine during the weekend, while the less-sweet MBI bf will say "owh dear, i m busy today, why don't u shop for a washer, lemme know the price, i'll online the money right away?" (of course the sweeter ones would have already given u a supplementary gold card).

When u r sick n call your single bf; they'll put on that sorry tone n say "owh honey...u poor thing....get well soon ok?" and hung up, your MBI bf will be at your door step in less than 1 hr to take u to the specialist even if u only have mild fever.

The cute single guy u date might go: "Saiful Bukhari who??? I know Saiful Apek" but your MBI bf will discuss on the possible impact the charge has on the local political scenario...and the topic moves on to the mega sale....and the best spa.....and interesting places in Istanbul....yadda...yadda....yadda...

It's so comforting to date married men. U get presents on many ocassions : a pair of diamond earrings on Val's Day, a gold bangle for merdeka, a scooter on environment day, u even get a present for mother's day - well, implying that they want u to be the mother of their children! The most comforting: they will not ask u to sleep with them on your 1st, 10th or even 60th date, IF U ARE NOT READY. I m pretty sure a single bf would have dumped u by the 3rd!!. MBI bfs wait......and wait....until u ask....even it seems forever, they'll still wait.....coz they're sure that one day U WILL.

So, in the case of my miserable ex-roomie who is (I believe) still dating her MBI bf, how do i talk her out of it? I just don't or rather WON'T because I am quite certain that she'll reach a point where all the 'comfort' could not measure up to the pain. She'll grow up, mature and become wiser. Then she'll feel the pain. Trust me, it is extremely painful having an affair with an MBI, there are more wars than love (why do u think we get lots of presents?). Weekends, public holidays & festivals are for the family, that leave u with monday to friday only. If the missus finds out, there'll more more wars! Been there, done that.

Are women to be blamed for wanting to feel special and comfortable? Is it our fault that MBIs are more appealing than single guys? Are we not accommodating enough for the single guys to be with us? Or are single guys just couldn't be bothered to go the extra miles in winning our hearts coz they know that their 'saham' is still very much higher than those of the MBI's?